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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22912297">The Crown You Gave Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houseofmalfoy/pseuds/Houseofmalfoy'>Houseofmalfoy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Divorce, F/M, Flashbacks, Trans Character, Trans Female Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:21:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,481</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22912297</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houseofmalfoy/pseuds/Houseofmalfoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Four years after the war has ended, Narcissa gets the divorce she and Lucius both needed and looks back on the three decades of happy marriage she's had.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>HP TransFest 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Crown You Gave Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was written for HP Transfest's prompt "I'll always wear the crown that you gave me..."</p><p>Warning for some references to past transphobia and (if you pay close attention to the years) an implied pregnancy or child loss.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll always wear the crown that you gave me…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          2002</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa Malfoy strode into the atrium of the ministry with her head held high and an unreadable expression as she looked across the open space and didn’t immediately spot him yet. She was in no mood to deal with the press that was undoubtedly waiting for them on the third floor of this Salazar forsaken building on her own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t have to wait long, and for that, she appreciated him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucius met her with a polite smile, detached enough to serve as a reminder for the purpose with which they had met here today. This wasn’t a happy occasion, even if they were making the right decision. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narcissa, darling,” he greeted her and sighed a breath of relief when she kissed his cheek in greeting. “How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucius looked sickly pale and for a moment Narcissa felt guilty over that, but it was hardly her fault. He’d looked like that since returning from Azkaban, and she silently cursed the Dark Lord’s memory for it. Her husband deserved better, even if he wouldn’t be her husband for longer than approximately an hour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quite alright, love,” she answered him with a practised smile, and it didn’t matter that he knew her well enough to see through her lie. Lucius looked as if he was about to voice his concern, but he must’ve realised it wasn’t his place. Not anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The war had been over for four years now and Narcissa was closer to fifty than she was to forty-five, and it broke her heart knowing she was about to sign the divorce papers to end her marriage to a man she loved with all she had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shall we?” Narcissa asked, and she took the arm her husband offered with a smile so polite it could have been meant for any high-ranked ministry worker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          1973</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lucius paraded her around with an arrogant smirk plastered on his face that rivalled Narcissa’s own. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They had gotten engaged a week earlier and the engagement party had only just started, the upper class of an already so high-regarded society all gathered together to celebrate their match. To celebrate </span>
    <span>her</span>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa felt all eyes on her when they strolled through the ballroom, graciously as they should; it was a feeling she’d long grown used to. She’d always been the centre of attention in this world, and she’d always carried it with the utmost class. She enjoyed it more tonight than she could recall ever doing before.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>During her journey from the eldest Black heir to the youngest Black heiress to the next Lady Malfoy, Narcissa was used to being looked at in varying levels of admiration, envy, and disgust that she told herself was brought forth by said jealousy. Tonight was no different, but on Lucius’ arm, it was all too easy to live up to the expectations that came with her family. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A queen among the aristocracy of their pureblood society, dressed to the nines while her husband-to-be looked at her as if she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on. Tonight Narcissa had no doubt that she was precisely that. Lucius introduced her to people she already knew so well, but he introduced her as his fiance and it made her feel more powerful even than how being a Black alone had done. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They shared glasses of champagne while she held her glass in such a way that it showed off her diamond engagement ring to anyone who looked her way — and everyone attending did. Lucius led her to the dancefloor and if anyone had somehow been under the impression they didn’t make an impeccable match, the way they melted together as one in a simple yet elegant waltz would’ve set that misconception straight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa smiled her perfectly polite smile, repeated over and over again how lucky she was to be marrying into such a prestigious family, and kissed Lucius with all the propriety of a pureblood daughter when he whispered in her ear that it was he who was the lucky one here. He was right, and she hadn’t corrected him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lucius made her feel like she’d always been meant for this exact position. Mrs Lucius Malfoy, the very best their world had to offer. He’d given her a name that commanded the respect she’d always been used to with even more ease. Malfoy née Black was more powerful even than just a Black heir, and from the very beginning, she made sure everyone around her knew it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She wouldn’t have had it any other way, but she also hadn’t lied the countless times she’d recounted her own luck towards the other witches of their world. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa felt lucky on Lucius’ arm. She felt good, she felt powerful, and she felt oh so blessed. Like he’d given her a crown and made her queen with his respect and love alone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He wouldn’t stop making her feel that way for many years to come.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          2002</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa thanked herself for having waited on Lucius in the atrium instead of going up to the third floor herself, for when they stepped out of the elevator they were met with a horde of journalists and photographers that seemed to have forgotten the concept of personal space. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucius’ grip on her arm tightened momentarily, and Narcissa hated the way she found comfort in that small gesture in the exact same way she always had. They made their way past the journalists in silence, not giving any of them as much as a spare glance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There wasn’t as much they could do about the photographers who were all too desperate to get a shot of the equally defamed and beloved Malfoy couple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa mused to herself if they were giving off the wrong idea, showing up here as one. She wondered if tomorrow the Daily Prophet and all the gossip magazines would be conspiring over the meaning of this gesture as if there was something to be read into the way Lucius still felt protective over her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of them must have any idea at all what a long-lasting marriage was like, Narcissa presumed. If they did, they wouldn’t have thought twice about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had been married to Lucius for 25 years, and right now she didn’t feel like she could ever trust someone as much as she did him again. She loved him, still. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was so much love between them even today, and Narcissa wasn’t sure if that made it feel better or worse. She loved Lucius, she had loved him before they'd gotten engaged and she’d loved him through two wars and she didn’t think she would stop loving him anytime soon. Divorce papers wouldn’t change that overnight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It killed her to know that all the love in the world couldn’t save the way her marriage had fallen apart after the second war.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were called inside the small office by two lawyers they’d gotten to know well over the past weeks and Lucius looked at her as if he was still waiting for her initiative before they entered, the door closing behind them and finally shutting out the mass of reporters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no turning back, and Narcissa knew that was for the best. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          1974</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The ceremony had been beautiful, and the sight of Lucius standing in front of all their family, friends, and less important but still valuable members of society was a picture Narcissa didn’t think she’d forget in a lifetime. It might have been the beginning of the honeymoon, heart-eyed newly-wed phase, but in Narcissa’s opinion, the wedding was given a run for its money by how utterly gorgeous her husband looked tonight. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’d felt like a coronation.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The last guests had left the manor at last. Malfoy Manor that was now her home as much as it had always been Lucius’. They’d considered taking a suite for tonight as well, before leaving for Greece tomorrow, but there really was no need for that when what Narcissa really wanted was to be carried up to her new home’s master bedroom and get properly acquainted with it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lucius didn’t need to be told twice, and she’d laughed warm-heartedly when his eagerness to obey her wishes led to him nearly tripping up the stairs. “We have all night, my love,” Narcissa whispered to him, huskily with a promise in her eyes. “No need to rush.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She kissed him before the door to the master bedroom was closed, her arms wrapped around his neck from where he still held her in his arms in the way a bride should be held. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Where throughout the wedding, as she had expected from him, he’d looked at her with all the proper admiration of a husband-to-be, Lucius’ eyes were dark with lust now when he laid her down on the bed in her extravagant wedding dress and he looked down at her with a gaze that was both doting and just a little sinful. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was the first time she saw him look at her like that, but she already knew she adored it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’d been the one to crown her, it only felt just that he would be the one to worship her like the queen he’d made her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          2002</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d worked with these lawyers from the moment they’d officially decided to file for divorce but that didn’t make Narcissa any happier to see the short witch with her bob cut red hair again. She’d be happy if she never had to run into her again after this was over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’d be over rather shortly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa and Lucius took their place on opposite ends of an oval table and she met his eyes for a moment before shaking her head when she was offered tea. “That won’t be necessary, we won’t be here for long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything the lawyers told them had already been repeated to them in earlier meetings, it was just to make sure both of them were fully aware of what they were doing and what consequences it would have on their lives. Narcissa would lose access to the Malfoy vaults, Lucius was no longer free to come and go to Black property as he pleased. They knew it all, they understood it all too well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could they not understand what they were doing? Hadn’t they both toyed with this idea for over a year before she had finally breached the topic to Lucius out loud? They knew what was coming and they were ready for it. They needed it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa would no longer be able to call Malfoy Manor her home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had lived there together for nearly thirty years. She had lived longer at Malfoy Manor than she had in her own childhood home, and it felt more like a home than she thought anything else could ever be again. Perhaps that was what she would miss most, besides Lucius himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could vividly remember first stepping into Malfoy Manor as a child on her father’s side, being introduced to Lucius Malfoy at the same time as Rodolphus and Rabastan had because in their fathers’ eyes it had been vital they get acquainted as early as possible. Heirs to the pureblood world their fathers dominated and they would inherit one day, it was of great importance they would get along reasonably well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the same reason that Draco had had playdates with Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott and Vincent Crabbe from an early age: the connections he’d made in childhood had lasted to this day just as they had for his parents before him. The memory of those early days with her precious son warmed Narcissa’s heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She remembered just as clearly the first time she had entered Malfoy Manor as its Mistress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa could easily recall how powerful it had made her feel to set foot in that Manor and know it belonged to her and her newly-wed husband for good. Knowing it would be hers until the day she died, hers to live her life in and raise her children in, had felt better than words could describe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her marriage in those early days had made her feel just like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Where Lucius had looked at her as if she was everything good the world had to offer before their wedding, that’s how he treated her for the decades to follow. Like any couple, there were disagreements and bad days, but none of them mattered when her husband never ceased to recognise her as a gorgeous force to be reckoned with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d made her feel like a queen among the gods of pureblood society during their engagement party, and he’d never stopped making her feel that way until they were over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa hated to be forced to realise that though it had been over for years, today it officially was. No turning back, no regrets. The lawyers could warn them and explain the details of the procedure all they wanted, but none of the facts added up to the heartbreaking truth of losing the love of her life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The queen of pureblood society she was all the same, but the truth of that statement didn’t compare to the feeling of living out that truth on Lucius’ arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She confirmed her understanding of everything the lawyers had told her even when they asked her to, even though she’d hardly listened. Narcissa knew well enough what was going to happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          1977</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa had trouble keeping her face straight at all when she entered Malfoy Manor’s drawing-room, a tiny vial with a lilac potion inside kept tightly in her hands. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She’d wanted to wait with telling Lucius, wanted to make the announcement special or meaningful, but one look at her husband and she didn’t feel she could keep this to herself for another ten minutes with how happy she was. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lucius looked up at her with a smile, closing the Daily Prophet he’d been reading when she sat down next to him on the sofa, and even a fool could have read in her expression that she wanted to talk to him about something, something good. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa had begun to suspect it a few days ago and she’d bought the potion that would prove her right yesterday evening. This morning she had dragged Bella with her to St. Mungo’s, needing to be absolutely sure before she even considered telling Lucius of her pregnancy. They’d been trying for a baby for nearly a year and a half now, and if there was anything she wanted to avoid it was to get up his hopes only to find the test had resulted in a false positive. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her healer had only confirmed what the potion had already told her. Narcissa was pregnant, six weeks along. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Lucius,” she began and found she had a surprising difficulty in finding the words to say. They’d wanted this for so long, and it was such a simple phrase, but her excitement over the news got the better of her already and when she fell silent Lucius sat up straighter and looked her in the eyes, not concerned in the slightest.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He could read her like no other, but even if he didn’t know her so well there wasn’t anything in her expression that could possibly be mistaken for a sign of bad news. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When he reached to take her hand, he saw the vial she clutched in her fingers and raised his eyebrows. Perhaps he didn’t know for certain what sort of potion it was, or what it meant, but there wasn’t a chance he didn’t have at least a suspicion. “Cissa?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lucius began to smile like she’d given him the world before she’d finished the impossibly short sentence that promised to change their lives for good. “Lucius, I’m pregnant.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There were tears in his eyes when he hugged her so tight that for a moment she felt like she couldn’t breathe, but in that same moment her own tears started falling and she wrapped her arms around her husband as if she never planned to let go again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They’d been trying for so long and they wanted this so badly, Narcissa perhaps hadn’t expected but it came as no surprise that they both cried tears of happiness as Lucius whispered it again as if to convince himself it was really happening. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re pregnant, my love… Pregnant… We’re having a baby?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa laughed, nodding enthusiastically, and she kissed him sweetly. “That’s generally what people mean when they say they are pregnant, darling. We’re having a baby.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He kissed her again as soon as she’d gotten the words out, tenderly as he pulled her into his lap and wiped away her tears with the gentlest of gestures. “We’re having a baby,” Lucius whispered again, then cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply and no more words were necessary. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa wouldn’t forget that day for as long as she lived.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          2002</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After the lawyers were done explaining everything in detail, there was only the signing of the papers left for them to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa looked across the table at the husband she was about to divorce, and for the sake of being in front of respectable lawyers, she kept her expression neutral. It took more effort than she would be willing to admit later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She loved Lucius. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If it hadn’t been for the war, Narcissa was certain that she never would’ve given divorce even a single thought. How lucky she would have been to spend the rest of her life at the arm of this man, what a bliss it would have been to live and die as Narcissa Malfoy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The war had destroyed them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa had assumed, perhaps naively so, that surviving the war meant everything was going to be alright. They’d made it through the war, they’d managed to avoid a sentence in Azkaban, and she thought the worst of it was behind them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the first war that had been the case exactly: after it had ended Lucius and she had healed together from the scars the war had left them with, they’d come together even closer than before over their shared experiences and the realisation of how important they were to one another. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d gone on to raise Draco in a world they’d wished would forever remain free of war. Narcissa had assumed their time after the second war would be similar. She’d been wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like they didn’t understand each other anymore. As if the war had broken them both in ways that they couldn’t possibly heal together, and though the war had been over for four years now that hadn’t changed yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa spent most of her days in Malfoy Manor away from her husband, simultaneously hurt by the distance between them and by the knowledge that being near him wouldn’t make a difference at all. They’d grown apart, severed from one another during the war in such a way it felt like they were beyond repair now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She loved Lucius more than words could explain, that hadn’t changed in the slightest, but they’d come to the painful realisation that their marriage was hurting them more than it was healing them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurt to try and regain some of the closeness they’d once shared and then it was only more painful to feel the guilt over not being able to get that back. It had continued that way until they’d been forced to acknowledge there really was only one choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were making it right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa took the quill she’d been handed by her lawyer and locked eyes with Lucius in a lingering stare before she gave her husband a single nod, nearly invisible. She wrote down her signature with a graceful swirl of the quill and handed the parchment to Lucius, watching with a carefully composed emotionless expression as he signed too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s it,” either one of their lawyers told them, but Narcissa wasn’t paying attention to them anymore when she got out of her chair and wiped down her robes. She looked at Lucius again, who was no longer her husband, and was offered an apologetic smile when he opened the door for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          1987</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa watched them from the gazebo in the gardens, her ankles crossed daintily as she discussed the latest gossip with Aurora Parkinson. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was hardly focused on the conversation at all, her attention instead directed to her husband and seven-year-old son further away in the garden. Draco was waving around a toy wand they had gotten him earlier that week, laughing in his high pitched voice when he managed to conjure bubbles from it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yes, yes of course. Not to mention Lady Nott's atrocious wardrobe choices at this year’s spring ball,” Narcissa responded, how absent-minded she was to the conversation not showing through in her voice and expression. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Draco was waving the wand around with more and more enthusiasm now and he squealed with joy when he didn’t see that it was Lucius who’d conjured the small rabbit that now played around the little boy. Narcissa smiled at the sight, knowing full well Draco would be boasting about having made a rabbit for the rest of the week. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They had a playdate scheduled with Blaise and his mother tomorrow. Narcissa pitied the boy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When at last Aurora had left to attend to the planning of a gala she’d be hosting, in what Narcissa opinion was far too short a time to still be preparing for it, Narcissa directed all her focus to her darling husband and son. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The mere sight of them filled her heart with more joy than she would ever be able to describe. Narcissa had never realised just how much she could love someone. Draco was being raised with the same royal sense of belonging Narcissa herself enjoyed, and she knew that one day the crown Lucius had given to her when they married would be passed down to their son and then to his wife. She could hardly wait to see that happen. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Raising Draco was her prime concern in the world and that had been the case from the day he’d been born. She and Lucius both were utterly dedicated to the well-being of their perfect little boy, and though it pained Narcissa still that they would never have more children she wouldn’t trade the life she had today for the world. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They’d healed from the war, Lucius and she. They’d recovered from everything that had happened during those eleven years and they were stronger than ever, more in love than she could have imagined they would be. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If she’d loved her husband at the beginning of their marriage, and Narcissa knows that she did, she only loved him more now. Loved him more each time she saw him be a father to their son and loved him more every time she was reminded of what they had survived together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa didn’t want to imagine ever living without him, but now that the war has been over for six years there was no reason for her to fear such a thing. She could merely sit back and sip her wine and watch her perfect husband lift her even more perfect son up in his arms with a laugh that she hoped to see each day for the rest of her life. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She failed to see why she wouldn’t. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          2002</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The flashes of the cameras that welcomed them when they stepped outside were blinding, and she looked at them with a disdainful expression on her face. Narcissa briefly touched the necklace she was wearing: a present given to her by her ex-husband at the beginning of their courtship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The questions ranged from who’d initiated the divorce to their plans for the future to what their families would have thought of this if they’d been alive to witness it happening. Lucius and Narcissa answered none of them, but that last one had made her smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Divorce wasn’t something pureblood society took lightly. At first, that had been something Narcissa had feared about this whole ordeal, but the world was changing after the end of the second war and now it didn’t feel like such an overshadowing problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother would have thrown a fit, would have looked her in the eye with a look filled to the brim with disappointment that Narcissa had grown so used to. After she had come out as trans it’d been rare to see Druella look at her in any other way, as if by changing her name like that, by giving up the responsibilities she’d been raised for, she’d single-handedly destroyed their family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her father had been quite the opposite, but it’d always been her mother’s approval she’d searched for, hadn’t it? The only times Narcissa had felt like she’d gained it were during her engagement, and the first month of marriage to Lucius as if that had made up for everything else. That approval had passed all too quickly, but she’d cherished it more than she should have.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of what Druella’s reaction would be to hear she’d divorced Lucius brought a smile to her lips now, one that she carefully constructed to look as arrogant as possible when Lucius and she made their way back to the atrium together. Together, but not really, she supposed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of the journalists called out to her with a question, referring to her as Lady Malfoy, and Narcissa only raised a single eyebrow at the man. “Wrong name, darling. No comment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It stung just a little, as she’d expected, but the man’s embarrassment made up for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          1993</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The midsummer gala was in full swing. How could it not be when it was hosted by Narcissa Malfoy herself?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa walked across the room with all the grace of a pureblood Lady who knew exactly how adored, how envied, she was by everyone in attendance tonight. Lucius was on her arm, looking dashing as he always did, and Narcissa felt right at home like this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She looked through the ballroom with her head held high and knew the night was every bit the success she’d expected it to be.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa was no longer the fiancee that needed to be introduced to the world as the next Lady Malfoy. She </span>
    <span>was </span>
    <span>Lady Malfoy now, had been for over twenty years, and there was no one in this room who did not have the utmost respect for her and that title. It was exactly what she wanted. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It hadn’t taken her long after getting married to establish this position for herself, not long at all. She’d so quickly risen from Lucius Malfoy’s wife to the queen of their society, and she wouldn’t trade it in for anything now. She’d earned this place, was more worthy than anyone else could possibly have been of this fame, and she took every chance she had to further prove it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No one had reason to question it, no one looked for a reason. Those who didn’t love her still envied her and those who didn’t wish to be in her place wished to be in her husband’s. Narcissa lived off of that worship. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Their reputation had taken a hit after the first war and some of pureblood society’s most beloved at the time had been sent away to Azkaban. Briefly, her mind wandered to her sister and Rodolphus Lestrange dancing to pretend to be in love with one another; to Rabastan and Alecto with their impeccable looks and wit that matched her own; to Antonin Dolohov and to Amycus Carrow and to Serena Yaxley. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For the shortest of moments, her heart ached for the twenty-year-olds they had been, dancing in this same ballroom in the midst of war while the world lay at their feet. She’d been a queen among those gods even then, but not a single one of them had managed to avoid Azkaban. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She made her way through the room with elegant steps, shared a glass of champagne with Lady Nott and her husband, and banished the thoughts of her old friends from her mind. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa was a queen among the gods of this society still, even if Lucius was now the only one in this room she’d trust for even a moment. She’d always be, there was not a shred of doubt about that in her mind. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If her royal status among the upper class of their society hadn’t been tainted by the first war and hadn’t been torn apart by the loss of so many well-respected purebloods who’d she loved to no end, there was nothing in this world that could bring it to an end. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Narcissa kissed her husband with a proud smile and laughed daintily when she got complimented on how lovely the two of them looked together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was right where she was supposed to be, her crown firmly in place.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>oOo</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          2002</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When at last they’d reached the apparition points in the atrium, Lucius held her back for a moment and she turned to face him, not at all surprised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa knew him too well to be surprised by this. She knew him better than anyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She faced him amidst the crowd of the press that had grown smaller now that they’d reached this part of the ministry, and Narcissa held onto her ex-husband’s arm in what she was certain was a pose she would see on the Daily Prophet’s front page tomorrow. There was so little other news going around these days, they would make the front page without a doubt. It was something she was used to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you need anything, Cissa-” Lucius began and then seemed to realise it was useless. Narcissa knew perfectly well she would never </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>be able to count on him, and he knew it was a feeling that went both ways. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” she responded, then fell silent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was goodbye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa reached up slightly to kiss his cheek and he returned the gesture with a gentleness she had always so appreciated in him. She’d always been the only one, aside from Draco, to be on the receiving end of that side of Lucius Malfoy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will see you around, I’m certain, Lady Black.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knew he avoided her first name on purpose, just to add to the finality of today. She was Cissa to him, and she would be Cissa for a while longer even if she wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>anymore, but her title to the rest of the world was no longer that of Lady Malfoy. Narcissa had needed to hear it, and she’d needed to hear it from his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled at him with a subtle nod and allowed him to hug her briefly. “I don’t doubt you will, Lucius. Goodbye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Narcissa let go of his arm and turned away, stepping into the apparition point without a second glance at the journalists or another word at her husband. Ex-husband. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurt. She wasn’t naive enough to think it would stop hurting within all too short a time, but that was quite alright. Narcissa knew for a fact they’d made the right decision in this, and the pain didn’t disprove that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d been Lady Malfoy from the age of 18. On Lucius’ arm, she had risen to be queen: queen of Malfoy Manor and queen of pureblood society, and no one had dared to question it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucius had given her a crown when she’d married him, and though she would have gained it one way or another she would always be grateful for that. In divorcing him she wasn’t taking off that crown, no matter how much the world had changed and no matter how much or how little it might still be worth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d given her a crown and she wouldn’t be taking it off until the day she died. The pain of divorce did not change that, the shift in her official title did not change that. If anything it proved her more worthy of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa apparated back to a piece of property that had been in the Black family for centuries and when she sat down she breathed out a sigh that felt more relieved than anything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This had been the right call, she’d known it from the day they had started the process if not long before that. The crown Lucius had given her thirty years ago hadn’t slipped one bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narcissa closed her eyes and let her lips curl up in the slightest of smiles. She loved Lucius, she truly did, and it may have hurt to realise it, but she had needed this. They both had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was queen all the same, and stronger than she’d been in years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was perfectly alright like this.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos and comments are always appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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